Fast Cars

For sports fans, unless they’re one of the 87 people left in the country who like baseball, which I am not, or one of the 10 billion who thrive on following NASCAR, wherein a bunch of grown men turn left at 200 MPH all day long, which I am not, this time of year is a complete void — a huge vacuum that sucks. This was driven home to me yesterday, July 4th, as I was out and about in my trusty Subaru Outback, which turns both left and right, at from 5 MPH up to speeds approaching 35 or 40 MPH.

Koolbox NASCAR Racing Helmet Cooling System, Drivers suffer in the heat . It is not uncommon to send someone to the aid tent or even to the hospital following a race. Heat prostration not only saps drivers energy, it can Lose a Race .

First up is Rusty Wallace, who maintains the lamentable professional condition he has clung to ever since retiring as a driver of morphing from one striking the pose of an independent free spirit unafraid to challenge the powers that be into a toady of the lowest order with this column. In it he swears up and down from his seat in the super-secret NASCAR mobile castle replete with spy cameras pointed every which way but loose he clearly saw the debris giving cause for the caution at California which ever so conveniently bunched the field at a time when the race was nearing its end and Jimmie Johnson was waffle-stomping the field. You know, the debris FOX with its ten zillion dollars' worth of ten zillion high definition cameras couldn't find?

In addition, Roy and I went to the Tahoe Adventure Film Festival. It’s basically a collection of scenes from a bunch of upcoming outdoor films to get every one psyched. It consisted mostly of skiing films, but there was some climbing, BASE jumping and kayaking that was pretty neat to watch. The drive up there was pretty fun, we a saw a car grind along the divider NASCAR style. We have now Idea how it happened, we just saw a car hit the divider, grind for about 100ft, and then pull away and drive off. I bet the were pretty upset.

Most of you Mommies have had this experience but, until recently, I had not had such extensive experience with it as I have had lately. I call it the Diaper Dance. It starts with The Tot being laid down on the changing table at which time the wailing begins. Tigger or Mr. Duckie is quickly employed to curb the dissatisfaction. This works about 30% of the time. Whether or not it works, the next step: actually taking the diaper off, usually prompts another round of protest. Then cue the squirming and kicking. If there is “pooky” involved, God help us. It is then imperative that The Mommy work with the speed of a NASCAR pit crew to get the little bottom cleaned and the new diaper in place.

The small Mid-Western based Hoosier Tire Company owned by Bob Newton entered Winston Cup and started supplying tires to Cup teams in 1988. Opening the year 10 teams started the Daytona 500 on Hoosiers. Bobby Allison won that event on Goodyears but the Hoosier shod teams didn’t embarrass themselves either.

Here in a little bit I will b getting on a plane and headin south once again this time 2 Miami airport then a short ride over 2 Homestead meeting my friend 4 the last Nascar race of the season I am so happy right now only thing that would make it better is if Mikey was going with me. Maybe next year he will be. I can't believe this is the last race until Febuary. Yes I will be going 2 the Daytona 500 then and Mikey will be with me fot that race I can't wait!

OK, this morning I decided to do something productive for a change. There was a previous post where I complained at length about my problem with commercials during NASCAR races, as well as their prostitution in the form of trash movies and romance novels. It occurred to me this morning that there’s a good solution for this: rather than complaining, I could actually do something productive and pray for the leadership of NASCAR: praying for godly people to rise to positions of influence within its ranks–people who are grieved over this organizations’ moral shortcomings and neglect of its true fan base.

In answer to the question of the week on WindTunnel last Sunday night, here is my year-ending ten drivers finishing order for the Chase for the Nextel Cup.

For all you New Yorkers, I’ll be reading tonight at 8 pm as part of the the Happy Ending Reading Series’s “Varisty Letters” program. It’s menage à authors, with Warren St. John, author of Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer: A Journey Into the Heart of Fan Mania, and Jeff MacGregor, author of Sunday Money: Speed! Lust! Madness! Death! A Hot Lap Around America with NASCAR.

Saturday afternoon’s CARFAX 250 resulted in a huge confrontation between Carl Edwards and Dale Earnhardt Jr., on and off the race track. While battling for the lead in a green/white/checkered finish; Earnhardt spun Edwards on the final lap of the race to win the event. Where is NASCAR’s consistency at these days? This is the second race of the 2006 season that a driver with popularity has gotten by with spinning out another for a win and been able to go on and win the race this season.

I don’t know a single NASCAR fan who actually resembles anyone in the film. It is a caricature - nothing more. If you’re actually offended by the film you should really try to loosen up and take some time to laugh at yourself (as did Dale Earnhardt, Jr., Dick Berggren, Larry McReynolds, Darrell Waltrip, Jamie McMurray, Benny Parsons, and Wally Dallenbach, who all appeared in the film as themselves). If you do actually resemble someone in the film, well, that’s an entirely different problem altogether.

Thats right. The guy who hasn’t watched Nascar in a good 4 years or more comes back and is beating Mr. Fantasy Sports himself, Brandon Baker, and creaming Mr. Nascar, Brandon Burns. I think now would be a good time to recall a story I once heard about Burns when he was at a party. The lil guy was so sloshed he was on the stairs making racing car noises. Truly this guy shold be dominating the sport. But not so.

Let me get a wee bit out of my normal NHRA lane here and mention Richard Petty's comment during an Associated Press interview published yesterday; "I just don't think it's a sport for women," Petty said. "And so far, it's proved out. It's really not. It's good for them to come in. It gives us a lot of publicity, it gives them publicity."

At the end od the day, I don’t know the answer, I don’t have a clear idea how to fix it. With so many cookie cutter tracks on the schedule, it is pretty much impossible to make it as interesting as it once was. Trading out race dates at places like Winston-Salem, North Wilkesboro, Rockingham, and such, and replacing them with 1.5mile D shaped ovals sprinkled all over the US has taken away much of the character and nature of the series, and replaced it with a sort of generic “race of the week” look that to me just looks like the same track with a different name painted on the wall and a different background on the wide shots. Otherwise, it is the same old same old, playing into the hands of the teams with the most money for development of downforce and plate race cars, and less reward for the good drivers that tend to flourish on the slightly tighter or more skill oriented tracks.

After a year of competition with four other cities, Charlotte, NC will be the home of the NASCAR Hall of Fame:

Favre told ESPN yesterday (after a session learning how to drive a NASCAR, which I’ll bet just fulfilled every single off-season conduct clause of his GBP contract) that he’s waiting to see how the team upgrades before making His Decision.

With only 23 days and 7 hours until the drop of the green flag which will mark the start of the Great America Race………the Daytona 500, I’d like to try and open some eyes to this bad ass sport. For a while, I was one of those…’NASCAR is a 4 hour left hand turn’ snobs, very akin to the two-plankers who thumbed their noses at snowboarding even though they never tried it. Unfortunately, I used to be one of those snobs. That all changed the first time I ever went to a race. Since Baseball has somehow been labeled ‘America’s sport,’ here is a quick comparison on why going to a NASCAR race is far better than going to watch baseball.

LOL The boy was playing this morning and said “Hey mom I am going backwards just like Dale Jarrett on TV when he broke a tire and went upside down!” I’m thinking the boy is ready for the NASCAR season to start.

I know it will work. The precedents are all in place. You already know how sex and porn drove much of the innovation and evolution of the Internet itself, yes? The porn industry, more than Napster and more than online gaming and more than Amazon and more than AOL’s gay NASCAR fan chat rooms, made the Internet what you lust after today.

On the way back from the wonderful Converge South journalism/blogger conference in the very bloggy City of Greensboro, I decided to stop of at JR’s in Alamance County just to make sure they were OK after that devastating 25-cent hike in the tobacco tax. Rest assured, thing are humming along. The shelves are lined with plenty of cheap knick-knacks from electric blue dolphin lava lamps to the classic ceramic “freckle faced country boy” figurine. Dorals are on special for $18.79 a carton and you can still get any NASCAR jacket you ever wanted.

It was just fun, when Danny (the cameraguy) recorded us yesterday in front of the ESPN-Building. We acted like two enormous fans of all these Nascar-Drivers. As I told you yesterday, I got two signatures from Rusty and Mark - two of those drivers.

My family background is really mixed - Jewish, Filipino, and white trash. Not going to name names but some of the symptoms of white trashness that are found in my family are a love of NASCAR; talking about mechanical equipment; guns, guns, guns (even my Mormon aunt goes to the firing range); and a wary eye cast on minorities. We complete our "white trash" evening by playing "Who exactly is this baby's daddy?"

Tony Stewart climbed the fence again, this time to celebrate atop the flag stand following his win at Loudon, NH. This is Stewart’s third win out of the last four races with his first fence-hopping coming at Daytona a few weeks ago. It is a gimmick. He said as much declaring it was his thing and if anyone else did it, they would be crude imitators. Maybe he came up with this in response to the victory back flips of rookie Carl Edwards. Maybe it was pure inspiration at finally pulling off a Daytona win. Either way, I approve. (I like the back flips too, mind you.)

So my job at “The Big Dog” is mainly NASCAR. So I thought I would share with you the wonderfulness that is my voice over music reading sponsors of our NASCAR broadcast. Go ahead, LISTEN TO MY SEXY VOICE!

So to finally break through at Daytona was a relief for Stewart. Sure, the summer race doesn’t come close to rivaling the Daytona 500 in significance. And Stewart is the first to admit a win in Indianapolis — in either NASCAR or an open wheel car — would make his career.

Back in July of 2001, Daddy and I were watching a NASCAR race on TV. when we heard Benny Parsons-- former NASCAR champion turned race commentator-- say he’d never heard a song about a hatchback so as quick as he said it I put my pen to paper and in less than three minutes I wrote this song I’m dedicating to Benny Parsons and my Daddy, John B. Jones, who passed away on August 5, 2004. By the way, Benny, if you ever happen to read this, Daddy and I were always fans of yours going all the way back to before your Trans-American days with Dewitt Racing.

I always get annoyed when I hear things on TV or read food packaging that says things like, "Cheez Nips--Official Cheese-flavored Snack of NASCAR." Some schools are dealing with the same thing: "Sierra Mist--Official Drink of Woodbridge Elementary School." Next, people will be getting paid to name their kids after products: "I'd like to introduce you to my kids, Hyundai Elantra and Ruby Tuesday."

On another topic, does anyone agree me with that Fox’s coverage of NASCAR is far superiror than NBC’s last night. Granted NBC’s first night was mared by the three-hour rain delay, but even so, NBC’s coverage is just borderline unwatchable. This year, they threw Alan Bestwick out of the booth, who was the lead commentator for the first four years, and stuck in Bill Webber, who from what I heard last night, is nothing more than a walking cliche. And I have been saying this since the first year NBC had NASCAR: Wally Dallenbach is just horrible.

Hello folks, I am back and I am actually going to get a blog update on Monday. Imagine that. Anyway, first I would like to say both of the Nascar and Busch races this weekend were awesome. In the Busch race seeing Carl Edwards win his first Richmond race by gently nudges Elliott Sadler out of the way in front of his home crowd. Needless to say he was not a happy camper. Carl Edwards lived up to his good boy image and went over to talke to Sadler. Which looks like a giant in comparison. And of course I have to congradulate Kasey Khane on his first Nextel Cup win.

Many cans of Herbie-emblazoned Pringles (MSG but no Olestra — craps!); inflatable miniature Goodyear blimps; NASCAR gloves with tiny 10,000 lumens bulbs on the pointer fingers (so you can grill burgers on your manifold in a rolling black-out); bigger than a Matchbox Kinsmart 1967 Beetle with opening doors; Subway peppermint after sandwich mints (eat fresh); a “framed” Kodak moment in front of Herbie; Hot Dog On A Stick styrofoam cap.

Though we are not big F1 fans around the Team Swap table, we had a close friend going to the US F1 Grand Prix at Indy this weekend so after we got back from our father’s day meal we flipped to Speed Channel to give it a look – then we find out that all the cars on Michelins are not running. Wow what a bummer. For those that missed the coverage or following stories a nice summary from the Scotmans is below, but the long and short is that Michelin did not feel that their tires were safe to run on the 6 degree banking at high speed. There are all sort of F1 politics going on here, but the fact that Michelin did not bring a tire (in the sixth season of the US Grand Prix) to Indy that could handle the banking is sad.

Sorry this is a day late, but you never know where you are going to find us. Yesterday we went down to the NASCAR Pocono 500 race. This made for a very long hot weekend.

At the Nascar event Frist's attempt to pass as a regular guy failed miserably. The Belle Meade aristocrat gushed that a fellow Tennessean was in the race, veteran stock car racer, "Sterling Martin." Maybe the paler-than-a-ghost aristocratic Senator saw a Sterling Martin back when he was stalking birds to add to his butchered cat collection. But the renowned race car driver and fellow Tennessean Frist meant to reference is Sterling Marlin.

The state of Pennsylvania has hired six people to be tourists to the Keystone State this vacation season. The state is paying all of their expenses, they choose the places they want to visit, and the only requirement is that they record their experiences on a blog. Carrie Fisher of the Pennsylvania tourism office says the goal of using the Internet web logs is to reach consumers in "a voice they can identify with." The chosen bloggers include a computer software salesman, a mountain biker, a motorcyclist, a family of four targeting theme parks and one couple from New York whose wish list ranges from a NASCAR race to milking cows in Amish country. The six blogs just went online last week. The state officials say they aren't influencing the web logging reviews, and none have been negative so far. Fisher says they'll just "cross that bridge when we come to it."

Want to see a bunch of dudes get their undies in a bunch because a woman dared drive in the Indy 500?

Here ya go, read the comments.

Patrick would be for racing what Tiger Woods did for golf. Woods changed the sponsors and viewership for the PGA Tour. He made golf more popular and more accessible than it ever was before. Patrick would do that, she would move the viewership to the suburbs and shed the idea that auto racing is just for hillbillies and red necks. Once they had the audience they could keep it by promoting all the rivalries, and technology they supposedly have.

I went to the races tonight. Woo! It rocked. Sorta. Not as many pile ups as I’d have liked though. I really dont like big racing.. like Nascar or anything. In fact, I really cant stand nascar. But this is just a small semi-local race thing on a tiny track. Its something to do on Friday nights. The only person I ever called my cousin (in the US, at least. and not even by blood) is supposed to be racing the Super Stock. But he wasnt....

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that Disney was releasing a new Herbie the Love Bug movie. But it wasn't until today, while watching the Coca-Cola 600, that I realized that NASCAR racing is central to the plot of Herbie: Fully Loaded. And, to further solidify the impression that NASCAR and its drivers are all about the benjamins, series stars Jeff Gordon, Dale Earnhardt, Jr., Matt Kenseth, and Rusty Wallace all appear in the movie.

I have been a racing fan for most of my life, and unlike most these days that love NASCAR, my fandom has always involved open wheel cars. And though my interest has waned over the years, and it is harder and harder to get up and watch the Forumla One races on Sunday morning during the 5 year reign of Michael Schumacher, I still make a point of watching the Indianapolis 500. This year the race was won by British sensation Dan Wheldon. This was his fourth win of the season that is only five races old.

Gordon, a former open-wheel driver now in NASCAR, contends that Patrick is at an advantage over the rest of the competitors because she only weighs 100 pounds. Because all the cars weigh the same, Patrick’s is lighter on the race track.

Yesterday I spent all day enjoying the weather. Today I am going to sit on a butt and watch wall-to-wall car racing. Indy 500 starts at 11:30am and the NASCAR Coca-Cola 600 starts almost immediately after the Indy 500 finishes.

Pop-pop had ‘connections,’ as the stories go, so we got to see the new Chevrolets that year before they were ‘officially’ announced. All these years later, I can still picture the brand new, gleaming white '67 Impala SS 427 peering ominously from the back of the dealer’s shop. Man, I wanted her to get that one. Turned out she got a screaming red, 327 4-barrel fastback model, with the mandatory black vinyl top. Pretty car. Quick. But not the 427. Ah, the disappointments of life.

Basilio argues that the sport is so busy trying to make itself acceptable to the masses that it is losing it’s core and heart. Though I am by no means a big NASCAR fan, I have never been to a race and I do not own any NASCAR stuff, I have to agree with the points that Basilio makes and I do think long term his forecast will come true. The day’s of rough and tough racing with drivers that carried more about winning and making a living then ad campaign’s and marketing are gone. The question is will NASCAR find it’s way back onto the right track before it hits the outside wall (safer barrier or not) and messes up a bunch of good equipment.

The scariest city I've driven in is Chicago. People dart in and out of traffic like they're racing towards a NASCAR finish line.

My brother lived in Chicago for a few years, and he never adjusted his driving habits. Riding with him is like being on one of those simulator rides at Disney -- except that there are a lot more Hail Marys spoken from the passenger seat of my brother's Volvo than from the seats of any amusement park ride. That he's never had an accident should be of comfort to me.

With vehicles traveling at more than 200 miles per hour and only inches apart, auto racing is a natural application for event-data recorders. However, it was not until after the death in 2001 of stock-car legend Dale Earnhardt that NASCAR (National Association for Stock Car Racing) began collecting real-time crash data with a black-box device from Independent Witness. NASCAR officials install the self-contained Witness unit, which has a two-year battery, next to the driver's seat (Figure 4). The device monitors vehicle motion and, in the event of impact, records the date, time, direction, impact severity, and a 3-D acceleration profile. The vendor also offers similar devices for reducing fraud in fleet accidents by correlating the forces in a crash with subjective injury complaints.

Anyway, the Florida legislature was mulling over giving $90 million to the Orlando and Daytona Beach area in order for a new stadium to be build and also for a NASCAR Hall of Fame to be developed. This all became mute though as the legislature ignored this provision before ending its recent session.

I told you so! What did i say? Well how about lap one? KURT BUSCH spins out on lap ONE! How is this saving money when we tear up $250,000 race cars? Everything that goes on at nascar or the mention of the nascar name has to do with the god almighty dollar! If there are fines and penalties handed out its so they can improve television ratings! some fans on XM satellite radio's nascar channel complain that all the sudden nascar is handing out penalties ranging from $1500 to $25,000! Well i have news for you,,You ready?

There have been plenty of accidents on the track this season. Dale Jr ran into Brian Vickers and later owned up by saying “It was a big mistake on my part” and apologized to Vickers. Bobby Hamilton Jr caused a multi-car accident in Bristol and took responsibility for it when he said, “Leave it to me to do something stupid and tear up a bunch of race cars, I’m sure I’m a pretty good SOB right now.” Even Jeff Gordon apologized about getting into Kurt Busch at the Martinsville race. Jeff said after the race, “I...

And another thing. People who will jump up and start hating Johnson because the God Dale JR said he was an idiot are just as lame and MORONIC as you are!

Gordon proved again yesterday he is NASCAR's new king of racing at plate tracks, fighting off challenger after challenger on the way to winning the Aaron's 499 at Talladega Superspeedway in overtime.

That's bad news for the rest of the NASCAR Nextel Cup competitors.

Steve Lindecke, former VP with IMG and co-founder of Cleveland-based Elevation Group, shares a case study with us today on Sports Blog week. The on-site/online promotion was developed by Elevation Group for M&Ms. The case study is presented below as an attachment, courtesy of Lindecke and Elevation Group.

Says Steve, "In a constant effort to reach and communicate with a brand’s consumers, the Internet is obviously a medium through which marketers can interact with their target demographics and collect information. The “Color Vote” program that we executed for M&M Mars did exactly that and we had a lot of fun doing it. M&M’s was very impressed by the turn out."